Wealthy 20-year-old complains about credit card debt, friends complain she's 'cosplaying' their real struggle: 'Telling me I wouldn’t know difficulty if it hit me in the face'

3 months ago 35

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  • A young woman with long brown hair wears sunglasses and a pink headband

    A young wealthy woman tosses her hair in the wind, wearing sunglasses.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I in the wrong for NOT acting wealthy?

    Hi, I'm 20f and come from a very wealthy new money family. I went to a public primary school, but by the age of 10 my family had become multimillionaires. My older brother went to a private secondary school but I cried to my parents that I didn't want to leave my friends at the time so begged them to send me to the

  • public one instead. At this high school I met my now best friends. It's important to know my family doesn't flex their wealth. We do live in a rather large house, and we do drive nice cars but other than that the only real sign of wealth would be the amount of gold I wear.

  • I grew up knowing I was privileged. My friends would always bring up their financial struggles and I tried my best to help them by always paying whenever we went out and stuff but I obviously couldn't solve there families financial difficulties.

  • Now recently I have taken to having a part time job. I do not need to work it's something I have chosen to do, I live off only the money i make and none of my families wealth. I pay rent and buy groceries just like anyone else, but as I grew up with a lavish lifestyle and my part time

  • job no longer supports that I've come into some credit card debt. I was discussing this with my friends when one of them got really agitated and started shouting at me, telling me I wouldn't know difficulty if it hit me in the face and that I need to stop acting ghetto and check my privilege.

  • Now I do know that if I needed to I could just pay off the debt using my trust fund or something but I didn't want to, I wanted to learn financial responsibility, but she doesn't seem to understand that and has since cut me off. My friends think I am the ah le, and that I should've never brought it up because some people have real life problems

  • and I'm just playing pretend. I want to know should I apologise to her or is she overreacting? In my opinion, I should be allowed to discuss something that is stressing me out with my friends without facing backlash.

  • As the great Pulp song goes, “But still you'll never get it right, 'cause when you're laid in bed at night watching roaches climb the wall, If you called your dad he could stop it all.” There is a big difference between that and having to live with the roaches until you figure out a way to get yourself out of there. When rich people don't understand that they're in a different boat, they come across as callous. That's the lesson this young woman was learning when her friends started to get tired of her complaining. Read on for all the details of the story.

  • Cheezburger Image 10610350592

    A wistful young woman looks off into the distance.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Commenters gave their cold, hard truths.

    nasnedigonyat Yup. YTA. I'm gonna hit you with the hard truth. You haven't learned financial responsibility. You are acting wealthy. You are in debt and digging deeper. You're literally WASTING money for

  • the sake of.... Building character? Any sane person would pay off their debt if they had the chance instead of incurring more and more of it. Every dollar of debt you have compounds every month, growing like cancer or mold.

  • Several irrational things are happening here. You intentionally keep a part time job to pay your bills which you 'dont even need' bc you want to pay your own way. You obviously need more income to cover your monthly minimum lifestyle.

  • That means you need to work more if you truly want to cover your cost of living. Intentionally incurring debt to 'build character' is dumb, counter intuitive, and pretentious. It shows you have a tenuous grasp of how to live as an independent adult or the purpose of money itself. It's not a toy.

  • It's a tool. Learn to use it appropriately or risk losing a proverbial limb in the figurative workshop. Your present wastefulness could mean that you're someday without this tool and then you'll be SOL bc you don't have the very basic sense to make enough money to pay for your cost of living when that's your entire goal.

  • CinnaWhite Soft YTA. Not for having money. Not for working. Not for wanting independence. But for the room read. When you talk about credit card debt while everyone knows you have a trust fund safety net, it can land very

  • differently to people who have debt with zero backup plan. To you it's a lesson in responsibility. To them it sounds like cosplay struggle. You're allowed to be stressed. Your feelings are real. But context matters. For someone who's watched their family actually struggle, hearing "I'm in debt but I could wipe it out anytime" can hit a nerve.

  • If you value the friendship, I'd apologize for being insensitive, not for having money. Something like, "I didn't mean to minimize real financial stress. I see how that came off." She may still be projecting some stuff onto you, but this probably touched something deeper than just credit cards.

  • Naive_Pay_7066 Sorry but YTA You're cosplaying in their daily struggles and they know it. Your intentions don't matter because in reality you're never going to actually need to choose between buying food and keeping your power on.

  • mattjrich123 You're complaining about credit card debt while driving a nice car and wearing gold in front of your poor friends.

  • zombiemiki YTA. Having debt isn't a good thing. There was no reason for you to take on that debt. You don't get points for suffering for fun.

  • anonymous_for_t... The goal, no matter your wealth, is to live within your means. The confusing thing for me is that you have access to a trust fund, but you don't want to use it. Do you count the trust fund as part of your means? Or not?

  • Learning financial responsibility means not racking up credit card debt in the first place, because the interest payable is high. It is not fiscally responsibie to refuse to pay off the debt for because you don't want to dip into your trust fund.

  • If I were your friend I would be irritated because you are playing a stupid game with yourself, pretending to struggle with finances when you are not optimizing your own considerable resources. I don't know if YTA or simply silly.

  • Positive_Leading_... I unfortunately do feel like you "flex" your wealth more than you realise. Like the awareness is there but? it's like you want people to ask you about it or you want to be more relatable to your.... friends? I don't know. Kind of YTA behaviour, but you're also 20 so I get that you haven't really be put outside in the cold to really experience the realities of the real world and finances.

  • No_Reputation5871 I give you credit for learning financial responsibility. Most people would go crazy with. the money, and no matter how rich you are, there is always a limit to it. If spent without restraint, it will run out. Just look at how many actors got paid millions for doing movies, and 20 years. later are in debt without a nickel in the bank.

  • The thing is, you were not trying to rub it in their faces. You did something that you didn't need to do. Work an honest job. Yes, you do have privilege because of your parents, but that wasn't something that you asked for. If anything, this just goes to show their jealousy

  • more than anything. It also goes to show how they are not as good of friends as you thought that you were. If anything, they should have. been supportive of you trying to be humble and do honest work and not relying on others to pay your bills.

  • But, where I think a lot of the, you are just playing let's pretend can come into place, is the fact that you stated, I only work a part time job. Most people have to work full time to get by, if not more. This in itself shows that while you are trying to live a normal life to

  • some extent, you are still not taking it seriously because your work life balance is more focused on life and not just getting by. For that reason, to a point, she has a point. Final thoughts. Don't try to

  • pretend you know what most people have to go through if you choose to only work what suites you. Remember your words. "but as I grew up with a lavish lifestyle and my part time job no longer supports that". This clearly screams, I still live lavishly as I have not changed my ways. So in that

  • aspect, yup, you are TAH because you said it yourself, that you don't take it as more than let's pretend. If you didn't, then you would be working full time, and not living in the way that you were accustomed.

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