Stepmother allows 15-year-old stepdaughter to go to school wearing stinky pajamas: 'I figured she's old enough to dress herself.'

5 months ago 42

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  • Woman sitting on bed

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The stepmom in this story did not think it was her place to tell her teenage stepdaughter not to wear her dirty pajamas to school. After all, she's old enough to decide what she wears, and her mom and dad didn't seem to have any problems with her clothing choice. But maybe the stepmom's initial instinct was a little too lax.

  • Am I the bad guy for "allowing" my stepdaughter to wear stinky pajamas to school ?

    I (31f) married my husband (37m) in December then moved in with him and his daughter (15f).

  • The mom (41f) is in the picture but my stepdaughter lives us full-time. On the 1st day of school after Christmas break for my stepdaughter, I was to drive her to school.

  • When she was "ready," she was in pajamas that smelled like gym clothes. She had pimple patches all over her face.

  • A girl with a bandage on her nose

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Her hair was messy and greasy. But I didn't say anything. She's 15 and in 10th grade, I figured she's old enough to dress herself.

  • Plus if her mom and dad don't have a problem with it, why should I. My mom (53f) came to visit.

  • My mom looked like her eyes would fall out of her head when she saw how my stepdaughter looked when she came home from school.

  • My mom asked how on earth I'm allowing my stepdaughter to go to school like that.

  • High school tired students writing notes in a class sitting in their desks back to school concept

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told my mom nobody asked for my input and it wasn't my decision. She called me, my husband, and my stepdaughter's mom bad parents for allowing her to look like that at school.

  • I asked my mom to leave my house. Am I the asshole? EDIT This edit is for the wonderful people who are concerned about my stepdaughter.

  • I agree I'm the AH. I now understand this is not normal. I will do my best to get her professional help.

  • shootna1911 My 17 year old says all is good except the smelling bad part. She says she draws the line at smelling bad.

  • Severe-Drive-9515 Original Poster's Reply Thank you for getting me a teen's perspective

  • CatButler59 Hard to respond without knowing more of the family dynamics. You only moved in a month ago, but did you already know the stepdaughter from before? Do you have clarity about when you're supposed to take on a parental role (I'm guessing not)? It sounds as if you were trying not to be the wicked stepmother, and I think that was probably the right choice. She might have been doing this to test you.

  • Severe-Drive-9515 Original Poster's Reply I already knew her. My role isn't to replace her mom.

  • miemie-7321 Wow these comments. NTA! Some teens (even girls) don't care about how they look. And if her bio. parents aren't getting on her about this, if you start to then you're the bad guy. I am the stepmom of a teen boy, and he has repeatedly said he doesn't care how he looks when my husband reminds him to brush his hair and change his clothes. If her father was trying to have her put more effort into her appearance, then support him on that but it honestly sounds like her parents don't care.

  • Severe-Drive-9515 Original Poster's Reply At least out of precaution, I want my stepdaughter checked out by a professional. Maybe she's fine, maybe she isn't, can't hurt to check.

  • PlentifulBox Need more info. Does this happen every day? Is she depressed? Has this been talked about? What's the background here?

  • Severe-Drive-9515 Original Poster's Reply Most school days. But she dresses up on the weekends.

  • KtinaDoc This is a 15 year old girl that doesn't care what she looks or smells like. There is a problem with all of you.

  • Equivalent Lemon_319 "Plus if her mom and dad don't have a problem with it, why should I.” There are at least three people in this post who have no business being parents.

  • Thistime232 >Plus if her mom and dad don't have a problem with it, why should I. Did you bring this up to her dad, your husband? Because I can understand that as the step- mother you don't want to overstep your boundaries and tell her what to do, but there's nothing stopping you from telling your husband that it would be better if his daughter didn't go to school smelling like gym clothes.

  • ladybrainhumanperson It is tough. I had my ex stepdaughter up the first time and she only had one pair of yoga pants she washed by hand in a bowl, and had one bra that was her Mom's old bra, and had not had a haircut in 6 months, and had no warm clothes, and her slippers had holes in them. I took care of it all and I am glad I did. I felt bad her Mom wasn't there for her for those moments. Stuff like proper bathing suits, back to school clothes. Mom just wasn't into it. She was the sweetest thin

  • ParticularPath 7791 ESH here. The kid for going to school in smelly clothes and all the adults in the house for not saying anything. Pimple patches and messy hair are one thing, going out in smelly clothes is on a whole different level. Her dad sucks more than you do tho cus it's his kid.

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