Sleepover host mom calls mother of 8-year-old crying guest at 2 AM asking to pick her up after she repeatedly asked to go home: 'Her mom came, but she seemed annoyed.'

2 months ago 24

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  • A young girl covering her face with her hands

    A little girl cries at a sleepover, desperate for her mother to pick her up and take her home.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for making a mom pick up her daughter in the middle of the night from my kid’s sleepover?

    This weekend, I had a small birthday sleepover for my 8 year old daughter and a couple of her friends.

  • 30.

  • Smiling best friends photographing themselves on mobile phone while sitting against teepee at home

    Two little girls take a selfie together during a birthday sleepover.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 30 AM, one of them came into my room crying and woke me up (single mom here, so there was no man in the room, don't worry).

  • She said she was scared and wanted her mom. While I was trying to calm her down, she told me this was her first time sleeping somewhere new, which was unbeknownst to me and caught me off guard.

  • I did my best to try to comfort her, I sat with her and got her a drink, but she kept crying and getting more worked up, repeating that she wanted to go home.

  • I gave it some time, but it wasn't getting any better. So at that point, I felt like it wouldn't be right to force her to stay somewhere where she was clearly not happy.

  • I called her mom and asked if she could come pick her up right then and there.

  • Her mom came, but she seemed annoyed. The next morning, she texted me saying she wished I had just waited it out until the morning because now her daughter is embarrassed and might not want to try sleepovers again.

  • Where I'm frustrated is that I feel like I was put in a bad position and destined to fail from the start, no matter what.

  • I wasn't made aware that this was her first sleepover, and I don't think it's fair to use someone else's house, especially during their child's birthday party, as the guinea pig without giving a heads-up.

  • I'm not mad at the girl at all, I felt really bad for her. But I also don't think it was my job to handle that level of distress all night.

  • But I'm wondering if I should've just stayed up with her a bit longer to see if she'd go back to sleep and try to push through until morning, as the mom said.

  • Siren_of_Madness Not the ah le at all. Mom should have told you that it was the girl's first sleepover, for one. And that poor girl's embarrassment is unfortunate, but it happens to a lot of us at that age. It will pass, and the girls will forget and move on to other things.

  • Positive_Image_3921 Original Poster's Reply Thank you, we're kind of new to the neighborhood so I was worried this just ruined my daughter's shots at having friends and mom friends for me. But that mom seems like someone I wouldn't want to be friends with anyway lol

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  • Positive_Image_3921 Original Poster's Reply Oh this is good to hear from that perspective thank you! And I'm sorry that happened to you

  •  If you had refused to call the girl's mother and the next day the girl looked like she'd been crying all night, you'd have been negatively judged for NOT having reached out to the parent. Therefore, you were in what's commonly called a "no- win situation". You were "d if you do/d ed if you don't." Have you considered the ed possibility that the mom was just upset that she had her sleep disturbed? (She'd rather it was you who were up ALL n

  • Positive_Image_3921 Original Poster's Reply Yeah I feel like it was less about her daughter being "embarrassed" and more about her being inconvenienced by it all. She's one of those gossipy soccer moms so it's definitely going to be the talk of the town but oh well. I'm confident now I did the right thing

  • Apart-Ad-6518 NTA It wasn't your job to handle that level of distress & the the little girl asked to go home. You did the right thing.

  • Three women laughing and talking at a table

    Soccer moms share the latest gossip together at a cafe. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Mikrail NTA. I'd be furious to discover my child had been begging to come home because they were scared and someone kept them against their will. It's on their parents to guide her through the situation and help her understand her feelings, why she felt what she did, and then make sure they put a safety net in place for the next time she tries. As a dad, I'd be extremely grateful to you for sitting with her and treating her with kindness and then calling to get her home.

  • ChadPartyOfOne NTA. If the roles were reversed, the other mom absolutely would have called you too. She's just annoyed she had to wake up and take care of her kid.

  • DiscoGinger1711 NTA girls mom sks. 8 is young and sleep overs are scary sometimes. The little girl has nothing to be embarrassed about. But if you had kept her while she was so upset, her mom would have lost her mind. There was no winning.

  • Bustysaintclair_13 NTA at all. I would never put another parent in that position without talking to them about it first and coming up with a backup plan together if it didn't work. And I would never resent anyone for letting me know I should come pick up my child who was getting more and more escalated like that.

  • greenglossygalaxy NTA. Sounds like mum just wanted the night off and have you parent her kid instead

  • Enough_Passage7926 NTA. letting her stay addresses none of her mom's concerns. Mom was just crabby for having to do this in the middle of the night.

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