Parents buy their lazy 36-year-old son a house, refuse to help hardworking 34-year-old daughter with finances: 'I'm working 60-80 hour weeks, living with my partner in a small 1 bedroom apartment.'

4 months ago 25

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That's a surefire way to make sure their son never actually has to work for anything in his life.

If you're an aging parent with adult children, you might be uncertain exactly how much money to give each child in your will. Many parents split their net worth equally among their children, which is probably the most drama-free way to go about it. But if one of your kids is incredibly financially secure and the other is financially flailing, you might feel inclined to give the flailing child more money so they can get back on their feet. At the end of the day, it's your money and your decision to make. But it's worth considering why that kid is flailing, and the other isn't. Are they struggling because they chose a low-paying field of study and live in a high-cost-of-living area? Are they just young and at the beginning of their career, and haven't had time to build wealth? Or, are they constantly blowing the little money they have on useless things? The most important question is, are you, as their parents, constantly bailing them out for their bad decisions? 

If you are constantly using your money to solve your adult children's financial problems, then you are teaching them that no matter what happens to them, mommy and daddy will save them, and they won't have to deal with the consequences of their actions. If one kid is responsible and doesn't need to be bailed out, they might feel resentful of their irresponsible sibling for getting much more support than they ever got. After all, isn't it wrong to constantly reward bad behavior and ignore good behavior?

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