Mom refuses to throw a graduation party for her 18-year-old daughter because she wants her dad to be present: 'She says she won’t have a graduation party unless her father is included.'

2 months ago 25

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  • Woman wearing black academic gown

    A high school graduate who wants her dad to be present to celebrate her graduation with her.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for not doing anything for my daughter‘s graduation at all?

    AITA for refusing to host my daughter's graduation party if her. father is there? My daughter (18F) is graduating this year, and I (36F) have been planning a large graduation party for her.

  •  when I was 18, I was pregnant with her and living with her father.

  • While six months pregnant, I found him cheating and left immediately, moving 2000 miles back home.

  • I raised her with my parents' help while finishing college. Her father was mostly absent early on but later moved to our state and became more involved.

  • I supported their relationship and even forgave over $15,000 in back child support because I wanted them to have a good bond.

  • Shortly after, during a very difficult time in my life, he sued for full custody and took her without warning.

  • After two years and significant legal expenses, I agreed to 50/50 custody because that's what my daughter said she wanted.

  • A father having fun with his little daughter

    A daughter having fun with her father, holding on to his every word. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Over time, she began staying with him more. At 16, after I set rules (like consequences for not keeping up with responsibilities), she left my home and claimed she felt "unsafe," which I strongly disagree with.

  • Since living with her father, she has had very few boundaries. Recently, she confided in me about a major argument with her dad and asked me not to tell him.

  • I didn't. The next day, she accused me of telling him anyway because he somehow knew details.

  • I denied it and showed proof that I hadn't contacted him, but she didn't believe me.

  • When I tried to call him and his girlfriend to clear things up, both calls went straight to voicemail.

  • Given our history, I feel like this may be another attempt to create conflict between me and my daughter.

  • Now she says she won't have a graduation party unless her father is included. I told her I'm not comfortable hosting and paying for a large event with him present given our past and the current situation.

  • A family enjoying time they spend together during a backyard barbecue

    A family enjoying a graduation barbecue outside, excluding one key member of the family.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I suggested separate celebrations, but she refused and told me to "get over it." I feel hurt and disrespected, but also heartbroken at the idea of not celebrating her milestone.

  • AITA for refusing to host the party if her father is there

  • itsowlgood0_0 When I was in high-school my parents got divorced because my dad had a multi year long affair. I wanted to have a relationship with both of my parents because they were both good parents. My mom was amazing and did everything she could to make sure I had both of them. She never said a cross word to or about him. He constantly talked bad about her and wanted me to hate her. He refused to be in the same room as her trying to ban her from my sporting events. I am now incredibly close

  •  what was going on with you that a judge granted full custody to a previously absent parent

  • Youandiandaflame Also from OP, a post entitled "I don't like my daughter."

  • Damaged HanZ The main conflict here is understanding who is the real child.. you or your daughter. YTA

  • Impressive Moment786 YTA-the graduation party is to celebrate her, it isn't about you. You should be able to s k it up and have him a at the party for a few hours. It has been 18 years, it is time to move on.

  •  Stop keeping score with your kid. I know that 15k mattered to you and he is getting off easy, but nobody else involved will see it the

  • jroxiee you're allowed to set your own boundaries, but you are losing your daughter too. I'm not saying that the father and daughter are innocent, but banning him from the graduation party and canceling her party could very well f up your relationship with your daughter. what's more important to you, boundaries regarding your ex? or your future relationship with your child?

  • Consistent-Pickle-88 NTA Whew, women we gotta watch who we make kids with. Anyway, You shouldn't have to host and pay by yourself for this party. The dad is a parent too and should help pay for this party.

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