Mom allows her 13-year-old daughter's 12-year-old vegetarian friend to eat meat at a sleepover, against her parents' wishes: 'Her friend is very meat-curious, and always asks to try it.'

2 months ago 27

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  • A pan of Korean Fried Chicken

    A pan of Korean Fried Chicken: the kind of meal a vegetarian child wouldn't be allowed to eat. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Would I be the bad guy if I fed meat to a kid that comes from a vegetarian family?

    My daughter (13) has a friend (12) that comes from a family that I believe is Hindu - they're Indian, and per my daughter don't eat meat for religious reasons.

  • We're having a slumber party for her birthday, and when I texted the parents asking if there's anything I need to know, her dad replied that she doesn't eat meat.

  • Sitting man wearing gray shirt holding phone on ear

    A dad informs his daughter's friend's mom of his daughter's dietary restrictions. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • But per my daughter, her friend is very meat- curious, and always asks to try theirs at lunch.

  • Portrait of a happy smiling girl holding a book

    A student asks her friends if she can try their ham sandwich during lunch period.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The plan is to have everyone put in a chipotle order for dinner - WIBTA if she requests meat and I order it for her, even though her father told me that she doesn't eat meat?

  •  To be clear, I wouldn't force meat on her! I'm just wondering if I should refuse her meat if she asks for it.

  • Hopeful_Mopeful YWBTA. And you know you would be. If she's curious she'll explore herself. There is ZERO need for you to be involved in this, and actively ignore what her father said. If you're still unsure, and she requests something with meat, before you order, phone her father and tell him exactly what you're going to do. If you think it's acceptable, you'll have no problem informing him beforehand.

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply Oh, I like that - if she orders it I can ask her to either pick something vegetarian or call her parents and get their permission - and she can choose which she does.

  • monicagellers Yes, YTA if you go out of your way to lie to a child's parents when the child is in your care. It doesn't matter that it's about meat. You were told she doesn't eat meat. So don't give the child meat. This is a great way to tell parents that you're a sneaky, dishonest person not to be trusted with the care of their child.

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply I mean, that's fair, just not sure how to navigate it if she orders meat. Should I just say "hey, your parents said you don't eat meat, can you pick something vegetarian from the menu"?

  • wdwdreamer1206 YWBTA. You would be disrespecting the child's religion feeding them meat. The parents specifically advised you of their practices. How would you feel if your child went to a friend's house and participated in an activity you forbid in your household? When this kid gets older, they will have the right to choose to continue with their religious practices or not. It is absolutely NOT up to you to make this decision for them.

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply Makes sense, thanks! If she asks, I'll redirect her to something vegetarian.

  • Any Finding_940 Basically yeah, but also I'd suggest checking you're ordering from somewhere with decent vegetarian options and if ordering sides make sure there's a couple she can have; it'll soften the blow if she's still getting something she enjoys. As an adult I sometimes have to make do with the one vegetarian thing on the menu but I'd try not to do that to a kid who wants meat but can't have it.

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply Yeah, my daughter requested Chipotle and they have a lot of vegetarian options! That's definitely important regardless, because my daughter has other vegetarian friends.

  • Trekunderthemoon YWBTA she is still a minor and it's for religious reasons. Holy cr pl can't believe you even need to ask this question. How would you feel if another parent took your kid for a haircut or gave them booze? No. Don't do that. If she asks just tell her that, that isn't a decision for you to make. To be clear if a child is in danger either physically or emotionally from their parents then it is good to be a safe person for them but eating vegetarian food isn't harming her and if she

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply I only asked because her choosing to order it herself when there are vegetarian options felt like a gray area but the responses feel pretty - clear that it's not, so that is very helpful!

  • SuitableLeather If it were me I'd have her and other kids enter the chipotle order herself even if you're paying for the whole order. If she chooses to eat meat, then that's her choice. 13 is old enough to decide whether she wants to try something or not. It's not like a hidden allergy that you have to be worried about TLDR I wouldn't be actively monitoring a 13 year old's food

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply That was the plan/my mentality, so thank you for helping me feel slightly less guilty for even considering it! Based on the comments, though, I've decided it would be best at this point to monitor her food.

  • keevathemuffin Vegetarians loose the stomach enzymes to digest meat, especially if they've been veggie as a child. If you feed this kid meat, you'll have a sick child on your hands. YTA

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply Per my daughter she eats meat every day at lunch, so the illness I'm not particularly concerned about it's more about the - parents.

  • Babyimabadidea If she already eats meat every day she's not really "meat-curious" is she? You really shouldn't be disregarding her family's religion, just tell her you were told by her family no meat, don't get involved with this

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply That's the wording my daughter used, so I used it as well, though I guess you're right that it's not accurate. But yes, not getting involved seems like the right call.

  • Ok_Tonight_3703 YTA, for even considering this. In fact it's appalling that you as an adult and parent would even consider doing something that another parent made clear they didn't approve of. This is why I never allowed my kid to go to sleep overs. People cannot be trusted. The father fold you that for religious reasons they did not eat meat. Who are you to go against their parenting choice? Here's an example. You tell parents that your 10 year old daughter is not allowed to watch rated R movi

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply It's more about figuring out the extent to which I need to babysit what she's eating. If they put in the orders, do I need to double check that she picks vegetarian? We have beef jerky in the house, do I need to make sure she doesn't sneak any? That sort of thing.

  • DenizenKay - Feeding a kid something they aren't used to that their parents dont agree with them eating is asking gor A LOT of trouble. What will you do if the meat makes her sick? YWBTA.

  • Nervous_Rhubarb4576 Original Poster's Reply Per my daughter she eats meat every day at lunch, so the illness I'm not particularly concerned about it's more about the - parents.

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