Blended families have tricky dynamics that are challenging to navigate. On the one hand, if you're joining a well-established family, you don't want to overstep your role. You see this often with stepparents. You don't want to assume the position of "Dad" or "Mom" too early into the new dynamic, which could potentially put a child's perception of you at risk. On the other hand, though, the idea of walking on eggshells in a home that should also be welcoming to you is also an issue. It's one thing for a child to struggle with accepting you as their stepparent, but when your spouse insists that they are not your child whenever you try to assume a parental role… That warrants some analysis, too.
How do you cope with the fact that your spouse might not consider you a sufficient stepparent to their biological child? Not only is this insulting to your nurturing abilities, but it's a method of shutting you out. No matter how hard you try, they are there to remind you that you are not the sole parent of this child, and therefore, you have no say in raising them. This reminder is inherently harsh and serves as a reminder that you will always be cast as an outsider, even if you think you've finally been "accepted" as an equal in the family. That's what happens to the stepdad in this next story, and now, he is considering stopping his contributions to his stepson's college fund. As a parent should, he won't actually stop his contributions, but he'll convince his wife that he is.
What would you do if you were in this situation? Would you walk away at the first instance of outsider-talk, or would you try to make things work? Scroll below to read the full story.
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7 months ago
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English (US) ·