Would you let your partner have access to your work phone?
Call me crazy, but I think a healthy relationship involves some level of secret-keeping. You should be able to keep some things to yourself and still maintain a good relationship. In fact, it might demand it. You don't want to keep anything major from your significant other, but you don't have to report every little detail of your inner life and world just because you happen to be sharing a life with someone. For most couples, this might have something to do with work. Your partner likely doesn't know every little in and out of your job, just as you might not know every single detail of theirs. This is just the way life tends to unfold. We don't have time or bandwidth to understand every single part of someone's life.
But paranoia can start to seep in if you're not careful. If you're in a relationship with a rocky foundation, then any information that feels like a secret might start to brew and become something more than it is. Especially if you've been hurt in the past, you might be reticent to completely open up to the idea that you might not know everything about your partner. This lack of information starts to grow in your mind and becomes something monstrous. If you don't know every detail, then you might start to assume the worst. But you can't lay this burden at your partner's feet, especially if they've given you every reason to trust them.
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3 months ago
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