Brother fights to become guardian of 17-year-old sister, refuses to return sister’s birth certificate and social security to their mother, who demands it: ‘I have been defacto guardian since she was 14 and I was 23’

6 months ago 42

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  • Thoughtful man looking sideways in an outdoor setting

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA For not returning my sisters vital documents to our mother.

    I (26M) I have been the current defacto guardian of my sister (17F) since she was 14 and I was 23 and vital documents being Social security card and birth certificate, to clarify some important context before proceeding.

  • When documents become the ultimate power move, things get interesting real fast. One person wants the birth certificate and social security card back, not because they need them, but because it makes them feel like they’re still in charge. The rest of the family treats the situation like a game of emotional chess, moving pieces around to avoid real accountability.

  • We needed to get my sister's driving certificate upgraded into her first license so we needed these things in addition to a lot of other stuff to be able to prove all the necessary things to the DMV.

  • Our aunt during a period where she (39F) and my sister were in my mom's (42F) good graces convinced her to send up these things. to my aunt who let me use them.

  • After securing the driver's license I made it a point to let my aunt know that we didn't have any plans on giving them back and that's where the issue is.

  • To give my aunts side first, she promised my mom that she would send them back.

  • Young brother and sister standing side by side outside

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The brother’s been the one actually stepping up, making sure his sister has what she needs for life’s next chapter. The mom’s been missing in action for years, showing up only when there’s a chance to stir up trouble. The aunt’s caught in the middle, trying to please everyone and ending up exhausted from the nightly text storms. The sister’s just trying to graduate high school and avoid the drama, but the documents have turned into a symbol of who’s actually been there and who’s just pretending.

  • Technically she was supposed to send them back prior to us even receiving them as while in postage from Florida to Delaware my mom starting going off on my sister over the phone and didn't even want her to get anything after that.

  • Currently my mom harrasses my aunt nightly with calls and texts from text now numbers so that she can't be blocked causing restless nights for my aunt who does. have 3 children the youngest of which is pre Pre-K young.

  • Young brother hugging his younger sister on a dirt path outdoors

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My aunt assures me that shes already ordered a new copy of the birth certificate and that we can get my sister's dad (because a parent is needed) to get a new social security card ordered before shes 18 if she needs it.

  • My reasoning is that first of all theyre my sisters documents. Literally the only human being that has a (Legal) use for them is her.

  • My sister turns 18 in about 9 more months and is in her senior year of high school she's got alot of stuff she has to do jumping straight into the deep. end of being an adult without a developed support system i.e.

  • Sometimes the most important things aren’t the papers themselves, but the message they send. Holding onto them isn’t about being stubborn, it’s about making sure the person who actually needs them isn’t left scrambling. The court date’s coming, and it’s not just about who wins the paperwork battle, it’s about who’s willing to do the real work. Family politics can be exhausting, but sometimes the best way to handle it is to stop playing the game and just focus on what actually matters. The documents are just a small part of a much bigger story, but they’ve become a way to measure who’s really showing up and who’s just looking for a way to feel important.

  • Parents without making her have to replace all of her own stuff straight from the jump and replacing them pre-18 is an involved process of wrangling her dad who she really doesn't like interacting with.

  • My mother only wants the documents back to be petty as she has not talked to or supported my sister emotionally, monetarily, or physically in anyway in over 3 years Its literally all me.

  • This is the second time shes moved to Florida and left my sister up here mind you and 3rd time abandoning her kids in general.

  • Lastly when it comes to tge harassing of my aunt I do feel bad but pragmatically as well

  • I told both my aunt and sister not to deal with my Mom because she's unstable and not a great person but my aunt was on an everyone can change. kick and roped my sister into it as well.

  • Now the switch has flipped and because my aunt won't take the more drastic measures someone would normally take when anyone literally legally Harrasses you every night because my mom is family she wants me and my sister to give into her demands.

  • Which is what my family has done to enable my mom her whole life and I refuse to have me and my sister be apart of it.

  •  Me and my wife and Sister will be seeing my mom in court this Wednesday to obtain

  • I am anxious as all hell but in going to try to stand up for myself and my sister.

  • So if any errant eyes see this update wish me something other than luck as I'm not a lucky kind of guy.

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