34-year-old sibling refuses to give money to family of 35 people after all 7 sisters and brothers demand financial help: ‘My salary will not make a dent in all their needs’

2 months ago 32

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  • A man with a beard standing in front of a bridge

    A man with a beard standing in front of a bridge

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Aitah because I will not help out my siblings financially since we all earn about the same money?

    I grew up in a large family. I have seven siblings. So ten of us all together when we include my parents.

  • I love each and every one of them individually. As a group I hate them. I hated growing up with them.

  • I hated being port despite my dad making good money. I hated the wait for the bathroom.

  • I hated sharing a room. I hated having no social life because I had to help with my younger siblings.

  • Most of all I hated that I knew all of my siblings were going to do the same thing.

  • My oldest brother started his family straight out of college. While in a fair bit of debt from said education.

  • My oldest sister didn't bothe with college and had her first two months after graduation from high school.

  • That's my nephew Ryan. He got added to the like of kids I had to help with whenever she came over to visit.

  • I knew by age six I was never going to have kids. I knew it would make me an oddity in my family.

  • I knew my parents couldn't afford to help with my education. So I did it for myself.

  • I got an academic scholarship. Not to an elite university or anything like that. But not in my home town.

  • I didn't tell anyone. I had to threaten my school counselor with dropping out to get her to understand how serious I was about her not contacting my family to discuss my future.

  • Well I'm 34 now and the outcast in my family. I have a big dumb dog called Howard.

  • He is old but our walks are the highlight of most of my days. All my neighbors know is and he loves getting attention from everyone.

  • My siblings have 22 children between them. And are all either working way too hard to support themselves and their families or popping out kids.

  • Howard and I come to visit all the time. I have a lot of flexibility with my career so we roadtrip to see my family and stay at a hotel so we can GT O whenever we want.

  • I take my parents out to restaurants and outings when I visit. There is an excellent doggy daycare that caters to my boy's needs when he can't join us.

  • I also help them out with emergency cash if warranted. I was very clear that if I ever found out they took money from me that I had given them for themselves and they gave it to my siblings I would not ever give them money again.

  • They said the money was a gift and not my business how they spent it. I just repeated my warning.

  • My siblings all found out. They said I have lots of money and I could afford to help.

  • I drew them each a picture with crayons on construction paper. It very clearly explained how me not spending all my time and money having children I cannot afford leaves money on the table for me to spend on a great apartment and a car big enough for Howard and I.

  • Yes I know this was a move. I'm not asking about this. I then explained that my money wasn't enough to make any difference in all their lives.

  • A group of people posing for a photo in front of a yellow building

    A group of people posing for a photo in front of a yellow building.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • There are 35 of them all together. Two parents, two kids in college. Ten people in marriages, and twenty one kids.

  • 35 people. My salary will not make a dent in all.their needs. I made it clear that my money was not for them.

  • As someone who grew up with 23 cousins, I know what it feels like to get lost in a huge family, and why some people feel the need to put some distance between themselves and their loud family. I also know that there is no way I would agree to give any one of my family members money to finance their poor decisions, which is exactly what I believe this sibling should do as well.

  • I only got a response from my youngest sister. She is in community college and she is being pressed about when she is going to get married and have kids.

  • I told her that I would help her if she promised to finish her education and not have kids for at least two years after graduating.

  • She said that was going to be tough with all the pressure. I told her to think about it and let me know.

  • She got pregnant and didn't graduate. 36 now. The economy my siblings are living in is not the same one our parents raised us in.

  • My brother is in danger of foreclosure. My sister is twenty and living with her husband's family while he finishes college.

  • The rest all fall somewhere in between. I'm the only one who got out. And they are constantly begging for help since I have so much.

  • I don't. I earn less than my brother. I just don't have a spouse and five kids to support.

  • I feel bad when Howard and I go on vacation and stuff. But the money I spend split 36 ways will buy them each one week of groceries.

  • What happens next week you know? I feel about not helping them more but I know if I give in it will never stop.

  • Am I the ah le for not at least trying to help?

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