26-year-old employee refuses to give fundraised money to 'struggling' coworker who is planning a vacation: 'She told us she was struggling financially and might not be able to cover rent that month.'

2 months ago 31

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  • A woman in a white suit holding a jar of money

    Employee holds a jar of cash that was fundraised for the purpose of donating to her coworker, but refuses to give the cash to her.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The employee in this story raised money for her struggling coworker, only to find out that her coworker might not be “struggling” as much as she thought. Now, she's holding the money until she decides whether to donate it or return it.

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to hand over money raised for a coworker after learning something that changed my mind?

    I'M 26F and work in a small office where everyone tends to chip in when someone is going through a hard time.

  • Young architects working on project in the office together

    Coworkers in a small office help each other out with their work.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Recently, one of my coworkers told us she was struggling financially due to a sudden medical issue and might not be able to cover rent that month.

  • A few of us felt really bad and decided to organize a small fundraiser. I ended up taking the lead since I'm usually the one coordinating group things.

  • I reached out to everyone, collected contributions, and even added some of my own money. Altogether, it came out to a decent amount that could genuinely help her get through the month.

  • Before handing it over, I asked her if she was okay with me giving it to her directly or if she preferred another method.

  • She seemed a bit hesitant and said she will get back to me, which I thought was odd but didn't push.

  • A day later, another coworker pulled me aside and told me that the other coworker we contributed for had apparently been talking about planning a trip out of town around the same time she claimed she couldn't pay rent.

  • A woman looking at a map while waiting for a train

    A woman using a map while navigating the trains in a town where she doesn't live.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I didn't want to jump to conclusions, so I casually asked her again about her situation, and her answers felt vague and didn't really line up with what she had originally told us.

  • At that point, I got uncomfortable. I didn't accuse her of anything, but I decided to hold onto the money and told the contributors I wanted to clarify a few things before passing it along.

  • Now she is upset and says I embarrassed her and made it seem like I don't trust her.

  • A couple of coworkers think I should've just given her the money no questions asked since it was already collected for her.

  • Others are saying it's better to be cautious. For now, I've kept the money aside and haven't used it for anything else.

  • I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle it without making things worse. AITA?

  • gaysurrogateflamingo What do you mean you haven't used the money for anything else? It either goes to the coworker or goes back to the people who donated it and there are no other options. Am I missing something?

  • CuriouserCat2 It's resting in her account.

  • Kitkats677 I think op just means like "im not keeping it for me, im just holding it" tho I do thibk they should just give it back to the og owners

  • RubDense8601 Original Poster's Reply yes that's what i mean and i appreciate your say. thank you

  • WhatTheHey76 Give the money back to everyone that contributed. Tell them you are uncomfortable with the situation and they can give her the money themselves if they want. And please stop collecting money for co-workers. I don't think it's proper. I know times are tough and unexpected expenses happen but it's not wise to do fund raisers at your place of employment.

  •  the coworker who told you the intended recipient was talking about an out of town trip. They put you in a no-win situation.

  • Aethermist88 Or OP and the people who are now hesitant get their refund and the rest of the money from those who aren't hesitant goes to the colleague who it was initially collected for.

  • notbetterthanthat Is she going on a lavish vacation or is she maybe going out of town for one of the many other innocent and possibly quite necessary reasons someone may have to go out of town? You don't know that she's not visiting a sick loved one or going to a funeral or something. It doesn't have to be either of those things. You all decided to raise money without giving her a full interview so just give her the money. Then if you're going to have invisible criteria that you wind up wanting

  • Even Budget2078 YTA What are you actually doing here? Are you waiting to present evidence she can't pay her rent? Like be evicted? Then you'll give her the money? I don't understand your thought process at all. You're just holding the money in some weird forever limbo. It's not your money. Why are you you holding the people's money who said it should just be given to her no questions asked??? It's THEIR money! Not yours. You need to give off the pot, lady. Give her the money or you give it back

  • Only_Music_2640 YTA give it back to everyone who contributed (hope you kept records) or hand the money over to the person it was raised for. Feel free to remove your contribution but you have no right to hang onto everyone else's money. Never take the lead on a fundraiser again. By questioning her motives and hanging on to the money indefinitely there is no way you don't come across as TA here.

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