26-year-old daughter-in-law confronts mother-in-law for constantly criticizing her cooking: 'I started pointing out how every single thing I do gets judged no matter what.'

2 months ago 25

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  • A woman pointing at another woman in a coat

    Daughter-in-law is confronting her mother-in-law about the constant disrespect she espouses. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for confronting my mother-in-law about constantly undermining me during a family gathering?

    I (26F) have been married to my husband (30M) for a few years now, and overall our relationship is good.

  • The problem is my mother-in-law (58F). From the beginning, she has always had something to say about everything I do cooking, cleaning, even how I speak in her house.

  • Woman standing in front of kitchen sink.

    Daughter-in-law cooks and cleans in her kitchen in a manner that bothers her mother-in-law.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I usually stay quiet to keep the peace, but things have been building up. At a recent family dinner, she started criticizing the food I made in front of everyone, saying it "wasn't how her son likes it" and then proceeded to compare me to his ex.

  • Woman standing in front of freestanding range oven

    Daughter-in-law is preparing her husband a meal in a different manner than his ex-girlfriend.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Everyone just laughed awkwardly like it was normal. That was the moment I finally snapped internally.

  • When she finished speaking, I calmly asked her in front of everyone if she would like to show me exactly how she thinks things should be done, because clearly my efforts were never good enough.

  • Then I started pointing out how every single thing I do gets judged no matter what, even when I try my best.

  • The room went silent. She got upset and said I was disrespecting her in her own home.

  • My husband later told me I should have handled it privately and that I embarrassed her in front of the family.

  • Now half the family thinks I crossed a line, while others are quietly saying she deserved it.

  • LordsOfJoop NTJ. If she feels that she can drag you freely regardless of locale and population, the rules of fair play are in full effect. She's not demonstrating any element of restraint and thus deserves none herself. Proceed accordingly.

  • RegiB13 NTJ. You shouldn't have had to handle it at all, your husband should have put a stop to it when she started. But if someone wants to come at you in public then they better expect the fallout from their behavior to be public.

  • Different_Repeat_878 Your MIL crossed line first by comparing you to the ex in front of everyone that's way worse than - calling out her behavior. If she can dish it out publicly then she can take it back same way. Your husband should've had your back instead of letting his mom tear you down like that for years.

  • R3pp3pts0hg You can't change your MIL...if she doesn't like you, she never will. BUT you have spent several married years of your husband NOT sticking up for you? Oh hl no. You two need to have a talk... you doing the most talking... followed by him going to his mother's house. He needs to tell her that HE has had enough of her disrespectful attitude towards you and she needs to knock it off before he stops visiting her. This is a problem with your husband. You didn't marry your MIL.

  • lilyofthevalley2659 NTJ. The only thing you've done wrong is to stay with a man who allows his mother to do this. He is your problem.

  • MasterEchoSE Honey, you have a husband problem. He should be sticking up for you, it's ok for his mommy to embarrass you at dinner but you can't embarrass her? He should have put his foot down the first time this happened. Personally, I would not stay in a marriage where my own husband disrespects me and lets others put me down. Neither should you.

  • FryOneFatManic If she makes comments in public, she can be criticised in public. And husband should have shut his mum down a long time ago. If he can't defend his wife, he's failing as a husband.

  • whatsmypassword73 You have a husband problem, he's a coward and he's comfortable watching his Mom hurt you. Is this the life you want? Please get out before you have a child.

  • Fr33speechisdeAd What is wrong with your husband? He needs to put his mom in check yesterday. NTJ.

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