25-year-old bride refuses to let her stepdad of 2 years walk her down the aisle at her wedding, despite her mom's insistence: 'My parents got divorced when I was 16, but my dad was still a very supportive and prominent role in my life, and still is.'

2 months ago 20

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  • A dad preparing to walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding

    Father prepares to walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding, the way it should be when the father is present in his daughter's life.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The bride in this story has divorced parents, and thought it was a no-brainer that her dad would be the one walking her down the aisle. She barely knows her stepdad, who married her mom three years ago. Her mom is convinced that because she has a bad relationship with her ex-husband, her current husband should walk her daughter down the aisle at her wedding.

  • Am I the bad guy for not wanting to let my stepdad walk me down the aisle?

    For some context, my mom (57f) and my stepdad (59m) have known each other for three years, and married for two of those years.

  • My mom and my real dad got divorced when I was 16, but my dad was still a very supportive and prominent role in my life and still is.

  • I (25f) and my fiancé (27m) are really excited to be getting married in a few months.

  • A man and a woman hugging by the water, showing off the woman's engagement ring

    A happy couple embraces each other after getting engaged.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We have everything planned out, and it'll be perfect. One evening, me and my fiancé decided to throw a small little house party with our friends and family who would be in the wedding party.

  • That night, I ask my dad (59m) if he would walk me down the aisle, to which he obviously says yes to.

  • My mom hearing this, gets mad for some reason, but I think it's because of her resentment towards my dad.

  • They had a very rocky divorce. After I ask my dad, my mom comes up to me with my stepdad right next to her.

  • She confronts me in front of everyone and asks why I chose my dad over my stepdad, though the answer is obvious.

  • I tell her that despite them being divorced, I still have a great relationship with my dad and I've hardly known my stepdad.

  • She's furious at this and starts saying that her husband doesn't deserve this and that I'm a horrible person for not choosing him.

  • I tell her again that I hardly know my stepdad, and he's not really a dad to me.

  • Waist-up portrait of happy woman hugging husband as they are standing in yard of countryside house

    A mom and stepdad are embracing each other without realizing they are blowing up their daughter's/stepdaughter's wedding plans.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • At this point, all my friends and my fiancé's friends leave, not wanting to be caught up in this drama.

  • My fiancé steps in and starts defending me, which doesn't really do much and my mom continues going on her little rant.

  • Eventually I have it and tell her and my stepdad to leave. In response, she tells me that if her husband can't walk me down the aisle, they won't come at all.

  • But I don't budge. Eventually my dad also leaves, seemingly really hurt after what my mom said.

  • This makes me even more mad and hurt as well. I'm still going with my original plan of wanting my real dad walking me down the aisle, and my mom hasn't talked to me except for yesterday, when she tried to get me to change my mind.

  • When I didn't, she called me an a hole. My fiancé says to just not have my mom go, and I really want my mom to come to my wedding since this is such a big day for me, but I also want my dad to be the one to walk me down the aisle.

  • I'm really conflicted. What do I do, and AITA?

  • Ok_Tonight_3703 What TF did I just read? So your mother thinks that some dude she been married to for two years and only dating for there, who you met as an adult should walk you down the aisle instead of your own father, who is still very much a part of your life? Has your mother always been this selfish, self-centered and dramatic? Do not even entertain her drama. Call her bluff. Tell her if she feels so strongly about her husband's role in your wedding, then her and her husband are not longer

  • Brilliant_Clerk_3819 Original Poster's Reply I'm thinking of doing that, or telling her she's uninvited until she gets her act straight. Your right, and I shouldn't let her ruin my big day. Thank you.

  • StructureKey2739 Have security in place in case your mother tries to flex her ridiculous demands on you at the wedding. She may cause a scene trying to push her husband on you. How does this random guy feel about all this or is he completely under your mother's sway.

  • Brilliant_Clerk_3819 Original Poster's Reply He is very much on her side, as my brother and I are his only "children", which makes me his only daughter and he wants to have the experience of walking his daughter down the aisle. Yet I still don't understand my mothers reasoning and will stick to my original words. It's not my fault he never decided to have children because he didn't want any.

  • MrTitius NTA. At this point I would have uninvited your mother and be done with it.

  • Brilliant_Clerk_3819 Original Poster's Reply I'm thinking of doing so.

  • Scary_Recover_3712 "Mom, name one fatherly thing your husband, whom you met and married when I was full-grown adult and I've had little interaction with, has done in my life. Has he taught me to ride a bike? No? Drive a car? No? Oh! Did he teach me to bake a cake and I forgot? No, not that either. Did he help me wire my internet? Fix my sink? Clean my cats litter box once when I wasn't looking? No? "So he's basically a relationship- stranger, that you want to parade around at my wedding. Let me

  • Brilliant_Clerk_3819 Original Poster's Reply I love this, thank you.

  • Obvious-Block6979 Ooooh, I think this is smart. Uninvite her 1st. Tell her you're uninvited until you can come to your senses and realize my relationship with my dad has nothing to do with your feelings or current relationship. This takes her leverage away. You're forcing her into the negotiation position instead of letting her think she gets to dictate the terms. She could choose not to come, but at that point you'll have to admit she's got a little crazy going on. You should also decide how to

  • Brilliant_Clerk_3819 Original Poster's Reply I think this may, but I honestly may just not have my mom come, knowing that no matter the circumstances, she may cause some drama.

  • Some-Chef5376 Seriously?! Does your Mom have a history of delusional unhinged thinking and mental health. issues?! I can't even fathom how she suggested this as reasonable, much less got upset. Sorry your Mom sks, at the least on this situation.

  • Brilliant_Clerk_3819 Original Poster's Reply As I start to see it more, my mom was horrible to my dad before the divorce and am so glad they're divorced. After they got divorced, she treated my brother and I horribly, but we put up with it because we were leaving soon anyways.

  • lornacarrington I hope you have a lovely wedding WITHOUT your mom/stepdad. That is awful. It is your choice! And confronting you about it! YIKES. I'm sorry you had to put up with that crop. NTA!!

  • Brilliant_Clerk_3819 Original Poster's Reply Thank you, I will!!

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